((Operation Write Real Fast: I don’t have much time. My oldest just woke up from his nap. I’ve given him a snack but it’s only a matter of time before he wakes everyone else up!!))
I wanted to share with you some thoughts I had this morning on 1 Peter 3. Verses 3 and 4 say, “Do not let your adorning be external-the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear-but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God’s sight is very precious.” There are two things that stood out to me regarding this passage.
|Observation Number One|
Based on the context before and immediately following these verses, the gentle and quiet spirit spoken of, is clearly referring to wives submitting to and respecting their husbands.
Context-Before (verses 1-2): “Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives, when they see your respectful and pure conduct.”
Context-After (verse 5): “For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands,”
((The baby has woken up but the pacie has been utilized and I have administered a second snack. Operation -write real fast- is a go. I repeat it is a go!))
|Observation Number Two|
The act of adorning one’s self with something, whether in this case that be jewelry or a gentle spirit, requires intention and action. We must intentionally choose what we are going to adorn ourselves with and then take action to do so.
It is important that we be intentional in how we relate to and treat our husbands. The Lord desires us to respect and submit to their leadership—surprisingly, even if it is not godly leadership (as we see in verses 1 and 2)! So how do we give them respect and submit to their leadership (even if we don’t agree with their leadership)? By intentionally preparing and adorning our hearts for the day to come. By taking the time to pursue a quiet and gentle spirit.
One of the practical ways we can do that is by recognizing and confronting worldly beliefs that may have crept into our hearts. i.e. sometimes I find myself having the attitude that women are superior and more competent—and thus I start acting as if I am the leader of our family, rather than my husband. These perspectives very much affect our daily interactions and will affect how well I am able to honor him. So, if I take time in the morning (or at some point in the day) to examine my spiritual “face” as it were, I will recognize that this belief is opposed to scripture and can then apply the cleansing touch of God’s word. Facial cleanser are not bad! But as we ready ourselves for the day ahead, it is always going to be more valuable to pursue the heart by applying spiritual adornment. Why? Because our inner beauty affects our actions and attitude thus having great impact on others but our outward beauty usually only has great impact on how we feel about ourselves.
So, as you stand in front of the mirror tomorrow morning, maybe putting on some lip stick or blush, take the time to look into the mirror of your soul and adorn yourselves with a gentle and quiet spirit. Your heart matters. It is out of the overflow of the heart that the mouth speaks and your heart is what the Lord sees when he looks at you. 1 Samuel 16:7 says,
“But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
Our hearts and the words and actions that flow out of that wellspring have incredible power…the power to give life or death, to bind or rescue. Our words can tear down our husband, undermining his leadership or they can be a great encouragement and catalyst in his own spiritual wellbeing and thus his leadership as head of the home.
One more thing…I want to remind you (and myself!!) that marriage is a picture of the gospel. The husband and wife each have very specific and separate roles to fill and when we try to avoid those roles or take over the other’s role it not only hurts the marital relationship but also mars the picture of the gospel that marriage was created to exemplify. So as you take the time to examine and beautify your hearts, remember that ultimately it is for the glory of God and that you are taking part in the big picture of redemption that began and is being perfected in Christ!
((Okay so this was NOT the short pithy post I had planned and my kids are all DEFINITELY awake now, but I hope and pray that the Lord will use it for good in your life and marriage. I know that this passage today has been very convicting to me and I am looking forward to better preparing for my days and interactions with my husband. ))