A couple of days ago, while I was on my way to change my 1 year old’s poopie diaper I heard my 2.5 year old screaming from the other room. Ran to see what was up and he had gotten my hand sanitizer in his eyes. Called poison control and they said I needed to flush them out for FIFTEEN min to avoid cornea damage. I knew that would be akin to Chinese torture so I called our Doctor’s office in hopes they would tell me it was no big deal but they said the same thing. Decided a bath would be the best way to get it done so I started the bath water, changed my 1 year old’s poopie dipe and then while I was checking the water temp my 1 year old fell RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (my ninja reflexes momentarily left me!) and busted his lip open. At the same time, my 2.5 year old tells me he has to go potty. I ask him if it can wait a second and he runs off to the living room. Guess that’s a yes? A few seconds later he comes back holding his empty diaper that has mysterious poop smears on it and tells me “Mama poopie came out of me.” Nope. That was not a yes. And I’m like, “What? Nooo! Where is it?” He says, “I dunno. Can’t find eet.” We looked around for a few minutes but in hopes of avoiding cornea damage I decided it could wait. (A day later and I still haven’t found it. Am super duper hoping he flushed it down the toilet!) Frazzled as all get out, I finally get my 1 year old’s lip to stop bleeding, wrap his cast (another disaster story from a couple days back) in a bazillion layers of plastic, put both my kids in the tub and proceed to water board my poor toddler for 15 min! Thankfully he got over his fear of water in the face and started laughing by the end of it. Unfortunately in the heat of his excitement he accidentally pushed my one year old under the water which resulted in a slightly soggy cast. Bah!
Then yesterday, my 2.5 year old is sitting in his high chair (the type that is buckled onto a regular chair) when all the sudden he leans forward quickly at just the right angle and the whole chair tipped right over. Had the thing for over a year without any incident. Sadly, he cut a huge gash into his chin from hitting the edge of the table on his way down. He kept saying/crying “Mama why is this happening to me?” Broke.My.Heart. While I am trying yet again to stop one of my children’s bleeding, my one year old decides it is the perfect time to nurse and is freaking out that I am unavailable.
Meanwhile, sitting quietly in my washer is a big wad of poo. Not the mystery poop, no. This little gift was from a few days before when my toddler woke me up saying “Mama! I’m awake! I have a poopie and Ima takin my diaper offfff.” When I ran in and saw that he and his bed was covered in poo, without thinking, I grabbed him and wadded up the blankets before checking for any hidden turds and threw them into the laundry room. Later I threw them into the washer forgetting to check them over. The next day after having let the load sit too long, I was about to add more detergent when I happened to notice a big chunk of poo happily sitting on top of everything. Took me 30 min to get my washer cleaned out. Not the way I wanted to spend nap time…especially after the hard work of keeping my kids ALIVE but hey, it’s something to brag about on my blog, right? 😛
Your turn. Comment below and share your own Mommy horror stories. Please tell me I am not the only Mother whose children are bent on giving me a hard attack! What have your little munchkins been up to?